Happy New Year - Whatever!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. New Years. It happens every year. A new year. Big deal. Right now I'm waiting for my pajamas to finish in the dryer. Yeah, that's right, they're flannel. I'm warm at night, how 'bout you? I know you are so amazed that I'm up this late, so am I!! Some idiots are outside lighting off fireworks and they will most likely burn my house down (OMG I live such a full life!!).

Anyway, I'm here to say that I am shocked an appalled at the new law taking effect now (since it's officially 2009) that if the word Arizona is covered up on your license plate you will get a ticket. Cuz DPS may not be able to tell where your car is from....What! Like the frickin' cactus isn't enough to give it away? Give me a break. I could understand it if it was an out of state plate that you can't see where it is from but come on people, are our DPS Officers that stupid that they can't tell an AZ plate from the rest of the world? Ok, sorry, we all know the answer to that!

You know, the last part of 2008 I think I got soft hearted. WELL I'M BACK AND I'M GETTIN' PISSED!! Let's really think about this one, shall we?????

Love Thy Neighbor

I love when the neighbors get into the spirit and adorn their homes with lights. Here are some of my favorites ( I know it's after Christmas but I've been very busy doing nothing!):


























































Well, it's almost time to take the lights down. Seems like they just went up!

Yes, Virginia, there is an Autumn!

Pretty Teacher thinks she is the only one that gets to see colors in the Fall. Well, I have news for her! Even though this is Arizona and it's hot most of the time and people have a tan all year long even if you don't want one and in the summer you don't have to diet cuz you sweat buckets daily there is a very brief window of opportunity to enjoy some fall colors.

I walk most every day and this is what I have been walking in the past few weeks:

And this:

And this:

Isn't it wonderful? Can you believe that in a mass of cacti, freeways and Walgreens, I actually live in this neighborhood?

Also, there is cool wildlife that live in my neighborhood. There are white egrets and blue herons. The herons are enormous. At least 3 feet tall. There is a huge pine tree by the lake that is at least 50 feet tall and the herons have built a nest. It is the weirdest thing seeing this head poke out of the top of the tree. And that's the mother sitting on the nest. When I went to take these pics they weren't in the tree but the white egrets were out and about so here they are. This one escaping my evil stare and landing in a tree:















And this one allowing me to pass by without freaking out (the bird, not me).















At first I though both sets of birds were only the parent and child but as I thought about it I figured there would have to be two parents in order to make the child (who said biology class was a waste of time?).

Bah Humbug!

I like Christmas as much as the next guy, probably more. Christmas at our house is pretty cool, just ask the Prettys. We have our traditions, we have our favorites and we have our rituals. But the one thing I think we (the Prettys and me) agree on is Christmas should not be started until Thanksgiving weekend. Actually, the starting date is iffy if there is a week of November after Thanksgiving.

Which is the reason for this post. Why the hell does KEZ 99.9 start Christmas Carols on November 1st?!?! Don't they know that the reason Christmas is so special and cool is because it is only celebrated for a month (maybe 5 weeks if you go past New Years)? I am boycotting 99.9 because if I have to listen to Christmas Carols for two months I may have to kill someone!

Is that wrong? I don' t think so. Yes, I put up the Holiday Trees but so what? They aren't Christmas trees, no really, they aren't!!!!

Why, oh why, do I do this to myself?!?!?

Every time my Cottage Living magazine arrives in my mailbox I get so excited! When I see it I make a special plan for the evening. I make sure that everything that needs to be done, is done. I make sure there is nothing that I want to watch on TV because I don't want to be distracted, not from the TV or from the magazine if something good is on, like The Office. Then I hunker down with a glass of wine and start to flip through the pages.

Then, slowly, but surely, I have an overwhelming feeling of desperation and depression. I don't know why I put myself through it every time but I do. This magazine makes me clinically depressed. I want to live in a cottage so bad that I start to have murderous thoughts about the people that live in them. I know it's sick! I said I become clinically depressed didn't I!!!!

My subscription is about to run out and every year I swear to myself that I will not renew. Then, at the last minute I always do. Does anyone have any Prozac?

Dear America...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Go Obama!

Holidays, O' Holidays

So the holidays are officially here. Don't correct me - I don't consider Halloween a holiday. I have always hated Halloween and Pretty Girl and Pretty Teacher can tell you why. I won't bore you with the details. It has to do with a fat girl, candy and mean classmates. I always made a feable attempt to celebrate it when the Pretty's were younger but now that they are older I pretend that Halloween doesn't even happen. I have one Thanksgiving decoration, a little pilgrim girl, that I put out last Friday night (yes, Halloween!).















Pretty soon I will put out the "Holiday" trees. Some people would call them Christmas tress but I call them Holiday trees. I put them out when the holidays come and leave them up until after New Years. I love them!



















My friend Holly will be coming over this weekend to talk about holidays crafts. I can't wait.

Crap Damn!

So Pretty Teacher is going to DC this weekend. I want her to go the see all of the First Lady's Inaugural Ball Gowns but the dang museum is closed for renovation. She doesn't even get to see Kermie!

Oh well, there is plenty more to see. Like:

Scandal Sites
Watering holes located in dens of iniquity include the Watergate, Jefferson Hotel (Dick Morris), Pentagon City Ritz-Carlton (Marv Albert) and the Westin Hotel (the former Vista of Marion "Bitch set me up!" Barry infamy).

The Day The Earth Stood Still
The film locations for this sci-fi classic at the Ellipse and over by Meridian Park.

National Museum of Health and Medicine
at Walter Reed Army Medical Center
In true Victorian interest for the mysterious and macabre, this museum was originally housed on the National Mall amidst the Smithsonian grandeur but was moved off site to make way for the classier Hirschhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden.They do have the bullet that assassinated Lincoln and you can touch a real brain or view the stomach-shaped hairball surgically removed from inside a 12-year-old girl!

Sounds like my kind of trip! Not so much for Pretty Teacher.

Did she or didn't she?

So, Pretty Girl was waiting soooo impatiently for the new Tinkerbell movie to come out. I even texted her yesterday to proclaim it was "Tinkerbell Tuesday." She texted back that she was soooo excited and that she wanted to go buy it. So, my question is this - Did she buy or didn't she buy it? She never told me.

OMG!

God, I am so sick of the political ads. I can't wait for this election to be over! Then maybe we can all go back to our lives. I can't retire now cuz my IRA is practically empty so I have to work the rest of my life. What a depressing thought.

Here's a thought: If Dan Saban wins the race against Arpaio will he have a hard time wrangling in all those deputies? Do you think the pink underwear will go away? And the chain gangs? Hmmmm...

So, get out and vote. If you don't, don't come cryin' to me!

Voter Responsibility - Round 2

Did you watch the debate? I saw parts of it. Don't make me relive it. As I said in my last post I listen to NPR. I'm convinced that they go out and try to find the most stupid people to interview. Like the man that said he was voting for McCain because Sarah Palin is like a breath of fresh air. Good reason. Or the man that said he would vote for Obama because he doesn't have a problem with black people anymore. He used to but he works with "colored" people (his words, I swear) and he used to not like them but thinks they are ok now. People, you can't make this stuff up!

I guess there is nothing anyone can do about the stupidity of people. Maybe I'll just write in Tina Fey for VP.

Vote Responsibly

It's taken me a long time to post, mostly because I want to rant about the election. I keep going back and forth about should I put my political views out there or leave them to myself. I decided to rant (what a surprise) because most of the people that I know read this feel the same way I do. Let's start with Republican Vice Presidential candidate. I'll probably end with her because I can't bring myself to talk about a man that describes himself as a maverick. Right!

So, this hockey Mom from Alaska. It doesn't matter where she's from. What matters most to me is that people claim they will vote for her for the most ridiculous reasons. I listen to NPR most days and they go around interviewing people on the issues. They interview women on who they would vote for. One woman said she would vote for Palin because she is sick of people picking on her. Yeah, that's a great reason! Another woman said she would vote for Palin because she isn't sure Obama is ready for the White House. Right, like Palin is and besides, that is also a stupid reason to vote for her.

How stupid are these people? What ever happened to doing the research and voting for the candidate who supports the issues you do. Good god! Wake up people!

How Embarrassing!

I watched the premier episode of 90210. No, I'm not ashamed. Why wouldn't I check it out, like I did Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill, which were, by the way, fabulous! But back to 90210. How embarrassing for the actors, producers, director, and creators. Here's what's wrong:


1. The high school kids don't look high school age or even close.

2. There was a commercial about every 5 minutes (sometimes every 3 minutes).

3. Some of the commercials were promoting that 90210 starts in the fall (huh?).

4. The acting is horrible.

5. Jessica Walters wasn't believable as a drunk (how hard is it to slur words?).

6. Brenda Walsh is fat (yeah, I know, it's petty, so sue me!).

7. The acting is horrible.

8. I don't care how rich you are, you don't take a date to San Fran for dinner on Daddy's jet on a school night.

9. Linda Gray has the same botox scary look that she did on Dallas.

10. Did I mention the acting is horrible?

Will I watch in again? What do you think?

Bad Boys

I have a lot of favorite shows but my all time favorite is Cops. Ask Pretty Girl or Pretty Teacher, they'll tell you. I don't think they are proud of the fact, but they know.

So tonight I couldn't have been more surprised to find out that Cops is celebrating their 20th season. Oh my god, have I really been watching for that long? I have friends that aren't even that old. They had a "Best of" episode on, which was fantastic. Here is my favorite exchange of the "Best of" episode (I'm sure you had to be there to fully appreciate it):

First Girl to Cop: I want my $20 back. She said she was going to buy me crack with it and all she gave me was dry wall.
Second Girl to Cop (indignant): I ain't no drug dealer. I'm a prostitute!

I know, it's your favorite show too.

Traffic Nonsense

I don't get why you have to signal if you 're in a turn only lane.

I don't get why people will not move to the left when you are trying to merge onto the freeway.

I don't get why people don't make a call on their cell phone until they get into the car.

I don't get why people tailgate you when there are other lanes open.

I don't get why people have to get into the fast lane and then go slow.

I don't get why people will speed up so you can't pass them and then slow down.

Loser!!!

Ok, so I totally wasn't going to look up Michael's score to see if he won #8 before the race. I really, really was going to watch it blind. Okay, I totally caved. I'm sorry, I couldn't stand it! I had to know. I'm weak, what can I say. I'm a loser. I can live with that. I hate me.

OMG!!!...Part 2

This is the Mark Spitz I grew to love during his Olympics (1972)...

This is him now.

Something's wrong here! Or is it just me?

OMG!!!

Okay, I can't stand the pressure. Michael Phelps is amazing and I love him. I don't care that he has a freakishly long torso. I don't care that he has freakishly short legs. I don't care that he has freakishly long arms. I do care that he wears a size 14 shoe cuz us girls know what that means! After all he is perfect. I have to tell you that I can't take the pressure of his races so I have to look up the scores before I watch him race. I have to know that he won before I watch him race. I know, Brien thinks it stupid but he doesn't hyperventilate like I do.

Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm so excited for Shawn and Nastia.

'Merica...

Oh no, say is isn't so. Bernie Mac died. What a tragedy. I have such fond memories of the Pretty Girl watching and giggling. I used to ask her if the show was funny. She said yes. So, I sat down to watch it. I'm not gonna lie. I couldn't understand a word Bernie said. Is it just me? Can you understand him? Apparently the Pretty Girl could cuz she would laugh and laugh while she watched. I think that may have been the point when she thought I was "old". I think that is the point when she just gave up on me.

Oh well, all I have to say is Bernie will be missed.

Swing Vote

So I took a "staycation" (stupid word) day to get my tires rotated/balanced/aligned (not sure what combo cuz I haven't picked it up yet) and decided the Pretty Girl and I should go see my pretty one (Kevin). You know, Swing Vote.

It was pretty good. Funny in a bunch of places even though it was painful to watch my pretty one as an alcoholic ignoring his daughter.

I have to tell ya that Kevin didn't look so good for most of the movie. As he shouldn't, considering his character's lifestyle. Oh well, I'll still be there for him when he leaves the trophy wife young enough to be his daughter! (No, I am not bitter!)

That's a Spicey Meatball

Get it? Mama Mia....????? Whatever.

Anyway, I went to see Mama Mia with the Pretty Girl. I wasn't sure what to expect, with it being a musical cast with, what I thought, were non-singers. For those of you who have not seen the movie, and want to, stop reading now. I wasn't so surprised that Meryl Streep could sing because, let's face it, she can do anything. I was surprised to see that Pierce Brosnan could sing. Oh wait, he can't. At least I didn't think he could. Every time he sang I felt physical pain. Now I don't want to say that he ruined the movie but I swear every time he sang he had that look in his eyes that said "I'm sorry that you have to listen to this."

All in all, the movie was good and I do recommend it if you like musicals. Musicals always make me wonder if I made the right career choice. They make me want to break out in song and dance in the streets while passers by join along, like it's the most natural thing in the world. Then I wake up and realize that I can't sing, AT ALL! And my dancing ain't that great either.

Why So Serious?

The Dark Knight. Wow, what a fantastic movie! Scary, creepy, ugly. And that's just Maggie Gyllenhaal! I found myself just short of a panic attack but loving every minute. Whitney went with me, even though she saw it at the midnight showing opening day, and she is right. The movie is two and a half hours but it sure doesn't seem like it. The special effects used on Two Face were amazing as well. I could not take my eyes off of him yet, I was grossed out at the same time!

I'll see any movie with Christian Bale in it. He can darken my night anytime. Let's give the film a hand.

Big Red Balls

So does no one watch Wipe Out on ABC on Tuesdays? People!! This show is hilarious. I'm not kidding. It's just soooo stupid that you will find yourself laughing out loud. The hosts use to bother me but now I just go with it and they make me laugh.



The stunts are great. No one can do them but they all try like it can be accomplished. You need to check it out. I need to go back to the show......

Sick of Work Day

I hate days like today. Nothing is going as it should. FedEx didn't pick up my package, the shredder won't shred and I just drank my last diet coke!

I think there should be a rule that when three things go wrong you can leave work and either go home or go shopping.


















Like a sick day or a sick of work day. Everyone has them and it would be like a burst of energy if you could leave. Then the next day you would be refreshed and more productive. Hmmm, I wonder how I would get started on getting that implemented?

If you love "The Word" say amen!

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a religious person. You may be and that's cool. Its' just that I'm not. What's up with those religious channels on TV?

Like Jan. Actually, I love her. She can cry on cue, she wears pink hair, (big, big hair) and she put Tammy Faye to shame with the make up!



















I was surfing the other night and noticed that most of the women, and some men, on the religious channels have had major plastic surgery. Being a televangelist must really pay off. The audience is so enthralled that they must not know that all the televangalists want is their money to fund the next plastic surgery, hair plug event or jewelry buy.

Hancock

Went to see Hancock...












Loved it!!. Will Smith is a favorite of mine anyway. I also liked the movie score, which is weird cuz I usually don't pay much attention to stuff like that.

Connecticut

Ok, so I liked Connecticut. Here are some pics

Yale














Downtown New Haven














On the way to our hotel on the beach














Pretty Teacher in the Atlantic Ocean














Eating at the restaurant at our hotel at the beach














Dog Fish














Leaving the beach to go to the airport














New Haven Airport














Yes, the airport is very small. I flew a prop plane to Philly and then changed to a grown up size plane to fly to Phoenix. It was a very long trip but nice to see something other than cactus!

Road Trip-Day 3

Just so you know, I don't think anyone lives in Kansas, other than the University town we were in. We drove through Kansas and for hours and miles and miles and miles we didn't see any sign of life other than on the highway. Seriously, I think aliens came down and took all the people in Kansas!






Ok, so here is cross #2. You be the judge if it's the same size or bigger (or smaller for that matter). Pretty Teacher and I were so astounded that there were 2 of these things that we couldn't decide if it was bigger or smaller. Creepy, very creepy!











Ok, so I will be completely honest, the rest of the road trip was pretty much a blur. I don't remember what picture goes with what state anymore. One day we drove through 3 states. I think that was the day we left Kansas. So I'll just show a few pictures. This is the Missouri River. I know we crossed it 3 times. I don't know how or why.














Indiana (duh!)












The FEMA car...















Ohio...












The Mighty Mississippi, water is kinda high right?












Pennsylvania...











More freakin highway!!!!!....













Ok, I'm totally bored with all of these pictures so my last post will be of Connecticut and then we'll be done. Pretty Teacher has some of the pictures that I need so I'll try to get them from her but she's kinda busy. Maybe that will have to wait. Thanks for reading.