Fried!

Ok, I just have to say it. What the hell is Fry's thinking? Did you see the ad that saves you money if you buy 9 of the item? NINE???? Who the hell needs nine of anything - except maybe lives? Do you need nine mayonaises? Ew! Even if you have a Super Bowl Party do you really need nine bags of Fritos or nine DiGiorno pizzas? Come on Fry's, get a grip.

Tomorrow the Fresh and Easy opens in my neighborhood. I'm scared to death that they will run out of free tote bags before I can get there. Why? I don't know. I guess cuz it's free and, as you know, nothing is free for me this year.

I have to mention the cool video on YouTube so Brien doesn't get mad at me. It's pretty funny if you are familiar with Google Maps. If you aren't - well, I don't know what to tell ya!

2006, it STILL was a very good year!

Well, at least this year is being consistant! I have to get new motor mounts on my car before my engine heaves itself out of my car. This should only be several hundred dollars. No biggie because I am independenly wealthy. Oh wait - that must be someone else. I have no money! The lottery gods are not helping either! I'm still longing for it to be 2006.


Someone dropped by my office and asked if I was a smart ass when I was younger. What, like you learn to be this way? Let me tell you, I was born this way. It's not something that you can teach or learn, you just are. I know you all are jealous. Then, he asked if my kids were smart asses. People, this is inherited. I'm telling you, they had no choice. We just have to decide if we will use our powers for good or evil. My money is on evil.

2006, it was a very good year!

2008 isn't starting out very good for me. I know there are homeless people living in the park while it's freezing outside and I know there are starving people in a lot of countries and I know there is inhumane treatment of people going on in many, many countries but people, this blog is about me!!

I am having a problem with my garage door now. We all know the mishap I had with my phone. Now my garage door broke, or to be more specific, Pretty Girl's. Why does this inconvenience me you ask? Well, we have two garage doors and hers is broken so I let her use my side cuz she comes and goes in the dark hours of the morning and night. So I have to deal with manually opening and closing the other side which means I have to open it, back out my car, go into the house, close the garage door and secure it, go out the front door and then get in my car and go. It's a lot of work. The Garage Door Repair Man, or as I like to refer to him, Gedrum (Garage Door Repair Man) came last week to "fix" it. Gedrum lubed and oiled and tightened and tinkered and it was "fixed". The remote didn't work so he sent me to Radio Shack (or as I have always refered to them as Radio Shit) for a "special" battery. Pretty Girl and I went there and made them promise that if the battery didn't work we could return it. They did and I will cuz the remote still doesn't work and, I know all of you will be surprised to hear, niether does the door!

That's right, now it's "broken" again! 2008 is turing out to be quite expensive. 2007 was also, as I had to replace my heat pump/air conditioner for a mere $9,500!!!! So that is why I think back on 2006 as a good year. Now I can only hope that I get a tax refund.

A Ring-a-ding, ding

Can you amaze two very young twenty-something boys? I can. I went to the cell phone kiosk at Costco to talk to them about my phone. I told them what happened and they couldn't believe it. I wonder what kind of stories that kill cell phones they can believe. They looked at me astounded. Maybe because they figured someone like me (old) would never do something so stupid (I do stupid stuff all the time, I guess the jokes on them). Anyway, they said I had to go to a T-Mobile store. Ok, I said. But they were too busy taking my phone apart to hear me. Once they got the phone back together they, again, told me to take the phone to a T-Mobile store. I looked at them and said, again, Ok!

I went to the nearest T-Mobile store and got a phone for 10 bucks. Sound too good to be true? Well it is. I had to extend my contract for 2 years which they charged me $18 bucks to do. Can you believe it? They will bleed me dry for an additional 2 years but I have to pay them to do it. In my next life I'm going to own a cell phone company ... and write text books! When I asked the girl if the card could withstand a bubble bath she said it should be fine. I was very relieved until she asked if I saved my phone numbers to the card. WHAT!!???? Good god, you mean you can save them not to the card? Who knew (everyone except me apparently).

As luck would have it, all my numbers were saved to the card except Petty Teacher's. How weird is that? Luckily, after about five minutes I remembered what her number was and programmed it in.

So, to make a long story short, I have a phone again and I don't have to email everyone I know to ask for their phone numbers. I don't have my cool ring tone but I bet my friend Robert will download it to my phone the next time I see him.

Mother Effer!!!

Let me just say that I will alieanate ( or however the hell you spell it) several people with this entry.

Okay, with that said...

eff, eff, eff ,eff, eff, eff, eff ( I wish I had the guts to say fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!)

I freekin washed my cell phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was at some friend's for dinner and we spent the majority of the evening outside so I had my cell phone in my pocket. I came home and decide to finish the laundry and threw my jeans in the wash. When I went to throw the load in the dryer, there was my cell phone....in the washing machine. God dammit!!! Dead as a doornail, whatever the hell that means!

I can't tell you how pissed I am, especially since I am having a hellava time typing on Pretty Girl's laptop trying to tell you this tale. I hope you all feel sorry of me cuz if you don't, I hate all of you!

I guess I will go to T-Mobile tomorrow to see what will happen. Sounds expensive to me. So if you call me and I don't answer, you'll know why.

I HATE EVERYONE (except you, of course!)

Movies from my Christmas Vacation

I saw some pretty awesome movies while on vacation. I wanted to see more but didn't think I needed anymore popcorn. I can't see a movie without popcorn, it's just wrong. Thank god Harkin's now has coke products cuz there's nothing worse than fantastic movie theater popcorn and diet pepsi!

First, Fred Clause. Don't be so judgemental. This was a great holiday movie. Very funny. I didin't even feel self consious being the only person in the theater over 30 without young children. I'm more confident than that. Whitney went with me and she liked it too. It was fun to hear the little girls behind us giggle.

Next, I Am Legend. Oh my god, scaaaaarrrrryyyyy! I didn't read the book so don't tell me the movie was different. Aren't they always? Will Smith is fantastict but I have to tell you, if I knew how scary this movie was before I went to it I'm not sure I would have gone.


Then I saw The Great Debaters. This movie was very good. I don't know what else to say except you have to see it. Denzel, Forrest and the students are awesome.


Last but not least is Juno. This movie was very funny as well as sad. It's about a 16 year old girl that gets pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. Great cast, especially the girl who plays Juno.


Oh, I almost forgot, I also saw Charlie Wilson's War. This was a good movie but it made me feel stupid because I never new any of this went on. Yes, it's base on a true story. Julia Roberts was fantastic.

That's it for now folks. I'll get more cranky as time goes on. I haven't been back out into the world for very long since my vacation so I'm not pissed off about anything yet. Give it time!

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation!

Well, it's been a while hasn't it. I was on vacation, which I usually only take at Christmas. I started my vacation with a trip to downtown Phoenix to see the Nutcracker. We always wanted to see the Phoenix Symphany's version so we splurged this year. It was fantastic!




One word on Christmas Cards - Has it become ok to not sign them? What the hell!! I don't care if you send me the letter that brags about your kids. I've done it but I always signed the letter. Even if you get your cards imprinted at least write a little note so I can think that you sent the card to me. Jeez!

We had a wonderful Christmas morning with lots of gifts. Then we went to see the baby. He's soooo cute!


There was a lot of partying going on. Don't ask for all the details, I don't remember!






Wow! That led for a couple of rough mornings. There were other parties but I can talk about them in order to protect the innocent.

So all in all I had a pretty good vacation. We were very busy most of the time but we did get to laze around a bit. So now all that's left is to gather up all my tax crap and hope for the best.

More later...