What I Did on My Christmas Vacation!

Well, it's been a while hasn't it. I was on vacation, which I usually only take at Christmas. I started my vacation with a trip to downtown Phoenix to see the Nutcracker. We always wanted to see the Phoenix Symphany's version so we splurged this year. It was fantastic!




One word on Christmas Cards - Has it become ok to not sign them? What the hell!! I don't care if you send me the letter that brags about your kids. I've done it but I always signed the letter. Even if you get your cards imprinted at least write a little note so I can think that you sent the card to me. Jeez!

We had a wonderful Christmas morning with lots of gifts. Then we went to see the baby. He's soooo cute!


There was a lot of partying going on. Don't ask for all the details, I don't remember!






Wow! That led for a couple of rough mornings. There were other parties but I can talk about them in order to protect the innocent.

So all in all I had a pretty good vacation. We were very busy most of the time but we did get to laze around a bit. So now all that's left is to gather up all my tax crap and hope for the best.

More later...

Road Rage Revisited

Before I get started on my latest episode of road rage, let me say two things first. Firstly, I want to say that this is my tree. Isn't it pretty? It's fake (duh!).






Secondly, I wanted to say that Pretty Girl and I went to Magdalena's graduation last night. She got her Masters. I bet she thinks she's better than me now. Well, she is so I need to just get over it. We took the Grinch with us and a little boy wanted him. I know what you're thinking - "Why did he want it?" Cuz I kept taunting him with it, why do you think? Yeah, that's right. In true Christmas spirit I was showing him how cool it would be to have a Grinch but not letting him touch it. Oh well, with some therapy he'll get over it.


Ok, now on to the road rage. I guess it's not truely road rage but I did want to hurt someone. Why is it that when you are trying to get somewhere everyone on the road knows this and tries to mess with you? No, I'm not egocentric, just paranoid. Pretty Girl and I were driving south on Rural heading home from Magdalena's graduation. Why is it that the public, for the first time, decided that Rural wasn't a racetrack and at that moment decided to go 35 mph? Oh my god people, the posted speed limit is 45 and we all know that that is just a suggestion. Every other time the public is driving 55 or faster. Hey, Pretty Girl had practice, we had to get home. I told her that this is why I live close to work. If I had to commute downtown everyday I would be hanging out of my car and shaking my fist at the drivers explaining to them that they don't know how to drive. I'm telling ya, if everyone drove like me there wouldn't be any traffic jams. Really, I'm a good driver. No, really I am!

All I want for Christmas is...

Janis!

Really, that's all. Whitney and I went to see a movie yesterday and saw this commercial before the film started:



I want that little girl. How cute is she? So cute. What's cuter than Janice? Nothing!

Foreign Policy

Is there a policy on when to decorate your house for Christmas? Should there be? I drove through the neighborhood again last night and saw another house all lit up with lights and a huge blow up Santa on the patio roof. That was just the back side of the house! Good god people, it isn't even Thanksgiving! Is there some foreign land that allows Christmas decorations before Halloween and Thanksgiving? I called Pretty Teacher and Pretty Girl to express my appall and they agreed with me (see, it's not just me dammit!). Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas more than most people, but let's be frank - even I get sick of it when it's around for two months! Beth and Bill started Christmas Carols this week. I'm already sick of Frosty the Snowman. I could care less if the idiot melts.

We need some rules people. I don't mind if Christmas crap is sold in the stores before Halloween. I don't care if Christmas Tree lots go up before Thanksgiving but we have got to get a handle on the house decorating. Really, who wants to pay the huge electric bill for more than four or five weeks anyway? You won't catch me putting lights up until the day after Thanksgiving. And speaking of Thanksgiving - I hate when there is a whole week of November after that day. Just thought you would want to know.

Elvis has left the building

Ok, so it's not Elvis, it's Hallmark.com. How can Hallmark.com be closed? I went to Hallmark free ecards (that's right, I'm cheap. Have you seen the prices of greeting cards these days? I could buy at least a gallon of gas for the price of a card!) anyway, Hallmark.com was closed. I need to send an ecard to Pretty Teacher. Sure I could google free ecards and go to another site but then I would have to register and all that crap and then I'd get all that spam from them...It's just too much for me to take right.

I'm a little stressed right now. I'm cutting out coupons (which, by the way, I will forget to use. It's just a ritual I have to trick myself into thinking I am saving money) and making my game plan cuz I'm going out into the world of Thanksgiving/Christmas shopping. I know what you're thinking, "she hates the mall". Well you are correct my pretty, I am not going to the mall. Where I am going is much, much worse: Costco, Trader Joe's, Michaels, Target and Fry's! This will be much worse because I only have to get a couple of things at each store.

This is the time of year when I like to think I have good organizational skills. I think if I get a jump on the shopping I can ease through the season. I will buy most of the stuff I'm bringing to the annual Thanksgiving feast and get a few Christmas things too. I'm already afraid for the people I will encounter. Thankfully one of my purchases at Trader Joe's will be champagne. I will need it when I come home and see that I have bought a bunch of crap that I don't need.

You've been warned. Don't leave your homes until later this afternoon. Oh, and stop by later, we can toast the season with a bit of the bubbly.

Hallmark Moments

The holidays must be near cuz I can feel my cold, cold heart begin to defrost. This is the time of year when I get a lot of Hallmark moments. You know, when something brings a tear to your eye. Like the video on Whitney's MySpace:



My friend Bobby has a Hallmark moment every time he hears Billy Ray Cyrus sing that song about his daughters. (By the way, Bobby may never speak to me again for revealing that he isn't as tuff as he wants people to believe!)



Soon we will all venture out into those crazy, overcrowded, huge buildings we call malls to do some holiday shopping, which I don't like. Ok, that's a lie, I hate it. I hate it as much as I hate mayonnaise! Like when you go to Costco. Pretty Teacher and Pretty Girl "claim" that I ram people with my shopping cart. Right, like I would do that. Besides they have no proof. There's no surveillance video! I say anyone who brings their kids to Costco to feed them lunch via the free samples gets what they deserve.

I hate walking through the mall. Most of the people walk side by side and you can't get around them. I think everyone should be required to walk single file. That would be awesome. And also, people should have to announce when they are going to stop so you don't run into the back of them.

Parking is a whole other issue. What's up with the people that take up two spaces? Like their car is really that nice. Well it won't be if they continue parking at the mall. No, that's not a threat! I hate it when you get stuck behind a car that is waiting for a space and the shopper is still inside. I think they bring a picnic lunch. I hate the whole mall experience. Wait... now that I think of it, I hate the mall and the shopping and the parking. Ok people, you're all on notice...nobody's getting anything for Christmas (that doesn't mean you have to take my present back!).