Road Rage Revisited

Before I get started on my latest episode of road rage, let me say two things first. Firstly, I want to say that this is my tree. Isn't it pretty? It's fake (duh!).






Secondly, I wanted to say that Pretty Girl and I went to Magdalena's graduation last night. She got her Masters. I bet she thinks she's better than me now. Well, she is so I need to just get over it. We took the Grinch with us and a little boy wanted him. I know what you're thinking - "Why did he want it?" Cuz I kept taunting him with it, why do you think? Yeah, that's right. In true Christmas spirit I was showing him how cool it would be to have a Grinch but not letting him touch it. Oh well, with some therapy he'll get over it.


Ok, now on to the road rage. I guess it's not truely road rage but I did want to hurt someone. Why is it that when you are trying to get somewhere everyone on the road knows this and tries to mess with you? No, I'm not egocentric, just paranoid. Pretty Girl and I were driving south on Rural heading home from Magdalena's graduation. Why is it that the public, for the first time, decided that Rural wasn't a racetrack and at that moment decided to go 35 mph? Oh my god people, the posted speed limit is 45 and we all know that that is just a suggestion. Every other time the public is driving 55 or faster. Hey, Pretty Girl had practice, we had to get home. I told her that this is why I live close to work. If I had to commute downtown everyday I would be hanging out of my car and shaking my fist at the drivers explaining to them that they don't know how to drive. I'm telling ya, if everyone drove like me there wouldn't be any traffic jams. Really, I'm a good driver. No, really I am!

Is road rage really wrong?

We all have it. Don't lie, you know you do. We've all been cut off and would love to lower our windows and call that driver all the names our Mother's said weren't "ladylike" while at the same time flip them off.

Most of us don't ever do anything about all the injustices on the road and that's why we haven't been shot at. But don't you wish, just once, that you could wiggle your nose and that car would be gone?

Like those idiots that won't pull over to the slow lane on the freeway. I drove to Tucson and back today and it was surprisingly easy. Most of the time you have those people who were raised by wolves that have no highway manners. Do they think they own the road? No, I do, now get out of my way!

And speaking of idiots, how about those people that slow down when they see a highway patrol officer that has pulled someone over? PEOPLE, this is the time to floor it. They'll never catch you!

It always amazes me that some drivers will speed up so you can't pass them, then they slow down again. Then you try to pass them and they speed up again. What the hell!? Or the drivers that slam their brakes on when someone pulls into the lane even though they used their turn signal. Did the idiot think they were kidding?

Ok, I feel better now. And luckily for all of you I won't be on the road for the rest of the day!