Was today Monday!?!?

Oh my god, what a day! It started out a normal day, doing my work, going thru the mail, drinking my tea. Then, cuz I drink a lot of water and tea I needed to use the restroom. When I went in I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye flying around, like a moth or something. As I looked around, I saw nothing. Ok. So then as I am zipping my pants (sorry so graphic) I see by my foot, my sandaled foot, a BLACK WIDOW!!!!















I moved my foot, my sandaled foot, away from it and it moved with me, like the web was attached to my pant leg or shoe!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am freaking out! I immediately stomp the crap out of it. Seriously, the first stomp killed it but I continued to stomp the sucker. Then I felt something in my hair. OH MY GOD!!!!! I run out of the restroom (by the way, this is 6 a.m. and I am the only one in the building except the custodian). I run to her and in a frantic voice ask her if there is a spider in my hair. She is a little confused and says "No." Then I begin to explain to her what just happened to me so she decided to take another look at my hair. Still nothing, which is good, except that I felt like bugs are crawling all over me. I then explained the mess I left in the restroom and that I was sorry but I couldn't go back in there. She understood and took care of it for me.

So then, I'm waiting for Pretty Girl to call me when she came home from the University Clinic so we could figure out who had the least expensive price for her inhalers. It's the most expensive prescription ever. We figured Costco was the cheapest since they told me it would cost $110.00 as compared to Fry's where they charge $250.00 and the clinic charges $170.00. This is about the time I realize that I forgot my phone at home so I go onto the T-Mobile website to send her a text from my computer to tell her to call me. Isn't it great that you can do that? NO! Cuz she never got the text. So I called her at home and we decided that I needed to come home to fill the prescriptions at Costco. So I go to Costco and they inform me that the prescription isn't $110.00 it's $170.00 and they don't know why I was quoted a different price (of course!). Anyway, I then remembered that I had a $10.00 off coupon but left it at home, along with my phone! I can't even call her to find out which form she usually gets of the other prescription. Luckily, they had a coupon that gave us $35.00 off. Yay!

So I finished up a Costco and came home to explain the whole ordeal to Pretty Girl. She said I guessed right about the other prescription and we were both grateful for the better coupon. I then changed to go on my daily walk. Halfway thru my walk I had to turn around and come home cuz I had to use the restroom. Dammit! So I went back home. Then I decided that this day, this day that feels like a Monday, isn't going to get the better of me so I went back out and completed my walk. Now I can hardly...walk that is!

A Ring-a-ding, ding

Can you amaze two very young twenty-something boys? I can. I went to the cell phone kiosk at Costco to talk to them about my phone. I told them what happened and they couldn't believe it. I wonder what kind of stories that kill cell phones they can believe. They looked at me astounded. Maybe because they figured someone like me (old) would never do something so stupid (I do stupid stuff all the time, I guess the jokes on them). Anyway, they said I had to go to a T-Mobile store. Ok, I said. But they were too busy taking my phone apart to hear me. Once they got the phone back together they, again, told me to take the phone to a T-Mobile store. I looked at them and said, again, Ok!

I went to the nearest T-Mobile store and got a phone for 10 bucks. Sound too good to be true? Well it is. I had to extend my contract for 2 years which they charged me $18 bucks to do. Can you believe it? They will bleed me dry for an additional 2 years but I have to pay them to do it. In my next life I'm going to own a cell phone company ... and write text books! When I asked the girl if the card could withstand a bubble bath she said it should be fine. I was very relieved until she asked if I saved my phone numbers to the card. WHAT!!???? Good god, you mean you can save them not to the card? Who knew (everyone except me apparently).

As luck would have it, all my numbers were saved to the card except Petty Teacher's. How weird is that? Luckily, after about five minutes I remembered what her number was and programmed it in.

So, to make a long story short, I have a phone again and I don't have to email everyone I know to ask for their phone numbers. I don't have my cool ring tone but I bet my friend Robert will download it to my phone the next time I see him.

Hallmark Moments

The holidays must be near cuz I can feel my cold, cold heart begin to defrost. This is the time of year when I get a lot of Hallmark moments. You know, when something brings a tear to your eye. Like the video on Whitney's MySpace:



My friend Bobby has a Hallmark moment every time he hears Billy Ray Cyrus sing that song about his daughters. (By the way, Bobby may never speak to me again for revealing that he isn't as tuff as he wants people to believe!)



Soon we will all venture out into those crazy, overcrowded, huge buildings we call malls to do some holiday shopping, which I don't like. Ok, that's a lie, I hate it. I hate it as much as I hate mayonnaise! Like when you go to Costco. Pretty Teacher and Pretty Girl "claim" that I ram people with my shopping cart. Right, like I would do that. Besides they have no proof. There's no surveillance video! I say anyone who brings their kids to Costco to feed them lunch via the free samples gets what they deserve.

I hate walking through the mall. Most of the people walk side by side and you can't get around them. I think everyone should be required to walk single file. That would be awesome. And also, people should have to announce when they are going to stop so you don't run into the back of them.

Parking is a whole other issue. What's up with the people that take up two spaces? Like their car is really that nice. Well it won't be if they continue parking at the mall. No, that's not a threat! I hate it when you get stuck behind a car that is waiting for a space and the shopper is still inside. I think they bring a picnic lunch. I hate the whole mall experience. Wait... now that I think of it, I hate the mall and the shopping and the parking. Ok people, you're all on notice...nobody's getting anything for Christmas (that doesn't mean you have to take my present back!).