Thorn in the Crown

Ok, folks. This Writer's strike sucks. There is NOTHING to watch. Those of you who know me, and/or pay attention, know that I don't have cable so my limited choices are narrowing down to nothing. Although, last night was entertaining. I watched "Crowned, the Mother of all Pageants." This was really something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I shouldn't be supporting such rediculousness but hey, blame the Writers, not me. If they weren't on strike I would have been watching less mindnumbing TV.

This show is about Mother/Daughter duos competing for $100,000. This seems so stupid to me. I wouldn't do it for less than a million. The best part is one of the judges is Carson Kressley, you know, the Queer Eye guy. These Mothers and Daughters are so clueless. One couple plays on the kidney transplant the Mom had a couple years ago. Please, get over it already. She seemed fine while she was drinking champagne!

I really don't think I will be able to stomach many more episodes. I will, however, watch it one more time. After all, it's the only thing on Sundays. What happened to "Amazing Race?"

Road Rage Revisited

Before I get started on my latest episode of road rage, let me say two things first. Firstly, I want to say that this is my tree. Isn't it pretty? It's fake (duh!).






Secondly, I wanted to say that Pretty Girl and I went to Magdalena's graduation last night. She got her Masters. I bet she thinks she's better than me now. Well, she is so I need to just get over it. We took the Grinch with us and a little boy wanted him. I know what you're thinking - "Why did he want it?" Cuz I kept taunting him with it, why do you think? Yeah, that's right. In true Christmas spirit I was showing him how cool it would be to have a Grinch but not letting him touch it. Oh well, with some therapy he'll get over it.


Ok, now on to the road rage. I guess it's not truely road rage but I did want to hurt someone. Why is it that when you are trying to get somewhere everyone on the road knows this and tries to mess with you? No, I'm not egocentric, just paranoid. Pretty Girl and I were driving south on Rural heading home from Magdalena's graduation. Why is it that the public, for the first time, decided that Rural wasn't a racetrack and at that moment decided to go 35 mph? Oh my god people, the posted speed limit is 45 and we all know that that is just a suggestion. Every other time the public is driving 55 or faster. Hey, Pretty Girl had practice, we had to get home. I told her that this is why I live close to work. If I had to commute downtown everyday I would be hanging out of my car and shaking my fist at the drivers explaining to them that they don't know how to drive. I'm telling ya, if everyone drove like me there wouldn't be any traffic jams. Really, I'm a good driver. No, really I am!

nuff said

There is nothing more I can say...

All I want for Christmas is...

Janis!

Really, that's all. Whitney and I went to see a movie yesterday and saw this commercial before the film started:



I want that little girl. How cute is she? So cute. What's cuter than Janice? Nothing!

Just Desserts

I'm still waddling my way around after a fantastic Thanksgiving. What were you thankful for? I was thankful for the stuffing. Every year we get together with friends and have a feast. It's a lot of fun. This year I made my usual mashed potatoes. The potatoes sat in the crock pot (to keep warm) for too long and turned to starch. People said they tasted fine. They're all liars. I thought they were horrible and it almost put a damper on my meal but the stuffing made up for it.

I also made three desserts. Yeah, that's right, I said three. Here is a picture of one of them:










It's a spice cake with cream cheese frosting. Those of you who know me know I don't eat most white foods so, as expected, I didn't eat this. People said it was delicious. I totally believe them. I even made the toffee!

I'm getting ready to send out Christmas cards. Don't get excited, you won't be recieving one. I usually don't send them to anyone but this year I decided to send them to the last remaining relatives I have and believe me, there aren't a lot.

I accidently told Shana that I would go Christmas shopping with her when she comes back for winter break. WHAT WAS I THINKING! I must have been drinking. Oh well, I'm sure we'll have fun. If I survive the trip and I'm not put in jail for getting into a fight I'll let you know how it goes.

Foreign Policy

Is there a policy on when to decorate your house for Christmas? Should there be? I drove through the neighborhood again last night and saw another house all lit up with lights and a huge blow up Santa on the patio roof. That was just the back side of the house! Good god people, it isn't even Thanksgiving! Is there some foreign land that allows Christmas decorations before Halloween and Thanksgiving? I called Pretty Teacher and Pretty Girl to express my appall and they agreed with me (see, it's not just me dammit!). Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas more than most people, but let's be frank - even I get sick of it when it's around for two months! Beth and Bill started Christmas Carols this week. I'm already sick of Frosty the Snowman. I could care less if the idiot melts.

We need some rules people. I don't mind if Christmas crap is sold in the stores before Halloween. I don't care if Christmas Tree lots go up before Thanksgiving but we have got to get a handle on the house decorating. Really, who wants to pay the huge electric bill for more than four or five weeks anyway? You won't catch me putting lights up until the day after Thanksgiving. And speaking of Thanksgiving - I hate when there is a whole week of November after that day. Just thought you would want to know.

Elvis has left the building

Ok, so it's not Elvis, it's Hallmark.com. How can Hallmark.com be closed? I went to Hallmark free ecards (that's right, I'm cheap. Have you seen the prices of greeting cards these days? I could buy at least a gallon of gas for the price of a card!) anyway, Hallmark.com was closed. I need to send an ecard to Pretty Teacher. Sure I could google free ecards and go to another site but then I would have to register and all that crap and then I'd get all that spam from them...It's just too much for me to take right.

I'm a little stressed right now. I'm cutting out coupons (which, by the way, I will forget to use. It's just a ritual I have to trick myself into thinking I am saving money) and making my game plan cuz I'm going out into the world of Thanksgiving/Christmas shopping. I know what you're thinking, "she hates the mall". Well you are correct my pretty, I am not going to the mall. Where I am going is much, much worse: Costco, Trader Joe's, Michaels, Target and Fry's! This will be much worse because I only have to get a couple of things at each store.

This is the time of year when I like to think I have good organizational skills. I think if I get a jump on the shopping I can ease through the season. I will buy most of the stuff I'm bringing to the annual Thanksgiving feast and get a few Christmas things too. I'm already afraid for the people I will encounter. Thankfully one of my purchases at Trader Joe's will be champagne. I will need it when I come home and see that I have bought a bunch of crap that I don't need.

You've been warned. Don't leave your homes until later this afternoon. Oh, and stop by later, we can toast the season with a bit of the bubbly.